I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
