JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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