just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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