I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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