I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
