a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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