There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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