Redeem this text for a blowjob
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
