i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
