I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
