chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
