You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
