i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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