u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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