well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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