I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize