I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
