You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
