she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
