All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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