jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
