I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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