ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
