So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
