She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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