i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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