It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
