Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize