but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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