It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
