i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How does one acquire holy water?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
