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Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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