life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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