hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She bit a glass in half.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
