I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
