This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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