Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize