Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
