ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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