bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize