Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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