This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
