where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This is my gift to your gina
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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