i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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