I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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