Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hello my rib-scented angel!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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