***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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