just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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