literally had 100 drinks last night.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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