I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
