it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
