oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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