I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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