I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Randomize
