hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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