life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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