btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
