You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
