I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
