She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
